Expression and Influence

Soon after immerging from the first of two rather dark periods in my life, I experienced something of a burst of expression in my art work.  The social circles I moved in had a significant influence over my thinking which showed itself in the images I produced.  I was never much of a profound thinker.  No deep philosophies or profound insights.  Just images that I felt were expressive of how I thought and felt at any given moment.  During that time, pretty much every thought that came into my head found its expression in images.  And music was an important catalyst in the formation of ideas for my drawings.  The people I associated with had something of a strong influence over my preferences and thinking.  This, in turn, had an effect on the images I produced.  Through the music I listened to, I found inspiration that took its form from what some might have thought of as a kind of hereditary or ethnic awareness.  The images I produced made no political or social statements.  At least not any that I intended.  If the ideas I got for my drawings were to be expressed in words, they would actually be very simple, basic concepts.  Many of the images that I produced were arguably expressions of feeling as opposed to any kind of complex idea or message.  That being said, I'm sure it's not surprising that most were unable to find anything to relate to in my work. 

At any rate, as it turns out, after quite a few years, I no longer possess any of the original drawings from this brief burst of expression.  I do, however have some photos, slides, and old remakes of some of these drawings.  Maybe a month or so before the writing of this blog post, I was encouraged to reproduce at least some of these drawings.  I had the idea to do just that quite some time before it was actually suggested to me, so, the suggestion gave me the incentive to follow through with it.

The most recent influences on my work have been in the direction of technique and application.  These influences have enabled me to make a better production of my drawings.  So, I gathered what I had left of the elements I used to produce the original drawings and set about producing a remake. 

The one that I chose was actually the simplest of the compositions that came from this burst of inspiration.  Being such, it was an expression of a simple idea.  This image was composed quite a few years ago.  What the idea was, precisely, I can no longer recall.  But I do know that it was a very simple idea.  In the social circles that I associated with, there was a collective awareness and sensitivity regarding ancestral origins.  Knowing that gives me a good idea of what the inspiration for this drawing might have been.  It also provided me with helpful guidance in the development of the remake.  The original image was likely inspired by thoughts of a quiet strength believed to have its origin in qualities inherited from those who came before us.  This quiet strength was something that I would think best tapped through meditation.  The origin of this inherited strength is represented by an image of the ancestral home of those who would draw on it; this strength of who they are and where they came from.  A strength from which issues serenity and inspiration. 

If all goes well, more will follow.

The Beauty of Manga

The beauty of manga illustration lies in its simplicity.  And it's a simplicity that exists on more than one level.  When I was very young, I used to make fun of the customary appearance of large eyes on the characters seen on anime TV shows.  But, when I got older and became more heavily involved in art, I began to appreciate the beauty of this stylized form.  As far as comic style artwork was concerned, I'd become accustomed to seeing the western style illustration.  But, I remember not getting as much out of it as my peers.  Don't get me wrong.  I did appreciate the work for its own greatness.  The stylized handling of detail was impressive, to say the least.  And, I enjoyed drawing the characters.  But, my interest in doing that kind of artwork never interested me beyond the social value it had for me.  I only did it because it was the means by which I shared the interest of my friends who were avid fans. 

Manga, however, was a different experience.  I didn't actually see any real samples of manga until much later on in life.  So, most of my appreciation for manga came through anime.  What most impresses me about the manga style is its simplicity.  Though different artists and production companies have something of a signature in their work, there is a standard to the stylization that is visible in pretty much every form of manga/anime illustration.  Again, it wasn't until much later on in my experience with this form of illustration, but, I finally found out the reason for the large eyes that I used to make fun of as a kid.  Elements of the kind of person a manga character was could be determined by the appearance of the eyes.  Their capacity for or tendency toward compassion or evil is revealed (or suggested) in the size and shape of the character's eyes respectively.  Large, bright, colorful eyes are indicative of compassion or innocence.  Small slanted eyes are indicative of evil, malice, lack of trustworthiness, and so on.  It only made me more enamored with the style.  Apart from its simplicity, there was a kind of suggestion with respect to detail that seemed to appear in the work.  Details like strands of hair and folds in clothing were "suggested" by strategic shading.  This technique for implying detail always impressed me.  This particular form of stylization now holds an attraction that has inspired me to try and emulated it.  But, because the form is so particular and developed in its stylization, teaching myself this style has turned out to be a particularly daunting endeavor. 

From what I've seen, environments and backgrounds in this style of illustration generally involve heavy use of perspective and detail.  I made myself very accustomed to the use of perspective in drawing at a young age, so, there isn't much of a problem to be found for me there.  All I expect to need in that area is perhaps a little habitual tweeking in the area of environmental detail.  When I finally get around to exploring it, I anticipate no problems.  Character figures have proven to be pretty much the opposite.  Despite the demanding nature of the style, I still find myself inspired by its beauty.  And I'm driven by that inspiration to continue my efforts in emulating it.    

   

Gradation Designs: Not Just A Simple Drawing Exercise

I was in a sour mood when I got home from school.  I was studying art at Community College.  The night before, I was up all night working on a large design assignment for my Black and White Design class.  It was to be 20" x 30" according to the assignment instructions, and done in pen and ink, based on an assigned photograph.  The assignment was an exercise in absolute black and white composition.  It was preceded by smaller in-class assignments that were designed to teach us the use of black and white space with varying percentages of black and white respectively.  In amounts of 25%, 50%, and 75%, we were to create a composition that effectively hid the respective minority or majority of the black or white space in each design.  I screwed the pooch across the board.  Utter and complete FAIL!  I should have seen how I did in that set of assignments as a harbinger of what was to come. 

All of the students' work was hung on the classroom wall and evaluated one by one.  When the teacher got to mine, it was like a beheading with a dull axe.  I was frustrated beyond words.  All that work for nothing.  And to think, I was so confident, sitting up all night working on that disaster.  I had never been so focused on anything for that amount of time.  This thoroughly convinced me that all my efforts to do well were pointless.  To this day I don't know what kept me from dropping that class. 

After that life-sucking disaster, we received the next assignment in our instruction on the use of black and white composition.  This time, gradation was involved.  Though I was so busy wallowing in my frustration and disappointment from the last assignment, I remember feeling a bit relieved about the use of gradation in the assignment.  It was the one thing about it that I knew I could do well.  But, as our approach toward the composition was to be somewhat the same as the percentage assignments, I was not encouraged.  At all.  I felt destined to fail. 

The gradation assignment required a pair of smaller designs.  One was to be a composition totally of our own making, inspired by our own imagination.  The other was to be based on another photograph assigned by the instructor.  My approach to completing the assignment was totally opposite to what I did for the previous assignment.  I went in to the back room where the VCR was (yes, this was a long time ago), set up a couple of TV tables, put on a movie, and started work.  I was able to handle the gradation part of the assignment almost in my sleep, so, that was no problem at all.  As for the design composition, I only devoted enough of my brain to work the pencils and china marker properly.  The rest of my head was into the movie I was watching.  The assignment required the work to be done on sheets of 20" x 20" illustration board.  I watched two movies.  At some point I stopped for a snack.  Before the second movie ended I finished the assignment.  Both designs.  I was barely aware of what I did.  And I didn't care.  As far as I was concerned, this assignment was destined to failure.  I knew that my execution of the gradation in the designs was good, but you couldn't convince me at gunpoint that I wasn't going to fail the design composition part of the assignment.  My feeling was that, if my getting ripped a new one was inevitable, I might as well enjoy the ride.  Plus, I wasn't going to waste an entire night on that assignment just to be handed my ego in pieces.  I even managed to enjoy doing the work (as much of it as I was paying attention to). 

The next day, after a proper night's sleep, I brought in my assignment for evaluation.  Everyone's work was hung up on the wall for individual critique by the instructor.  Mine was on the end.  The instructor started on the opposite end of the wall so that mine would be last.  One by one, the instructor ripped into the designs.  He was taking no prisoners.  You could hear the sound of egos and expectations shattering on the floor.  As he got closer and closer to mine, I just waited for what I thought was inevitable.  Everyone else, as I had overheard in conversation among the students before the review, had put a lot of thought and effort into their work.  I did mine virtually blindfolded and totally unconcerned.  I wouldn't have been a bit surprised it he decided to eject me from the room.  Moment of truth; the instructor finally got to mine.  I braced myself.  He shifted gears so hard you could almost hear it.  The first words out of his mouth were nothing but praise.  He was elated.  He went on in detail about what he liked about my designs.  And the thing that really blew me away was that he thought I spent an absorbitant amount of time and thought on the assignment.  I think he mentioned it three or four times  To this day, I don't know how he managed to miss the raw shock on my face.  Jaw hanging open, I sat and stared, entranced.  I couldn't believe my ears.  He loved both of them.  He had nothing at all bad to say about them.  I said nothing in response to anything he said.  I was praying he didn't ask me any details.  I just nodded when he looked at me.  After he finished the review, it took me a few moments to recover.  I looked over at the other students.  I saw those closest to me looking at me.  I was speachless.  One noticed the shock on my face.  "You didn't think about this assignment at all, did you?"  All I could do was quietly shake my head no. 

The fact that I spent so much time and effort on the previous assignment and failed, only to pass a similar assignment almost totally without effort, expecting to fail miserably, and passing with flying colors, disturbed me profoundly.  I was used to having little control over what happened in my classes, but this was just too much.  After that year, I changed my major to computer science. 

Though I decided to pursue a different career path, I didn't stop drawing.  I did more gradation designs (this time just for the fun of it).  I remembered liking the effect of the opposing gradations adjacent to each other.  I still do them as exercises from time to time.  Sometimes, when I get a design just right, I find it hard to look away.  At that point, I guess it's not just an exercise anymore.          

 

             

The Development of an Idea

A little while ago I woke up with this image in my head.  This, in and of itself, was not unusual.  Images and ideas for drawings pop into my head a lot, so it was no surprise.  But, this time it was different.  There was an unusual amount of detail in this image.  Usually when I get an idea for a drawing, there isn't a great deal of detail.  Such ideas and images are generally vague and more conceptual than detailed.  If I like the idea, I proceed, working out the details as I go.  This time, however, pretty much all of the details were already a part of the image. 

Life, being what it is, kind of got in the way of my beginning the rendering of this idea right away.  By virtue of the demand of higher priorities, some days passed without opportunity to begin this drawing.  As the days passed, I thought that the details would fade.  That often happens with other ideas if too much time passes between the time I get the idea and the opportunity to begin working on it.  But not so with this one.  The details remained just as vivid days later as when the idea first popped into my head.  The fact that the details lasted as long as they did served as motivation for me to get to work on this drawing as soon as I could. 

This idea, for all intents and practical purposes, was actually quite basic.  But it wasn't something that I could just sit down with a pencil and paper and just draw out.  And I don't have the equipment or software to let my computer do it.  I had to do it directly on paper.  I needed to come up with a way to produce this drawing without the markers and guidelines necessary to ensure that it would turn out right.  On this line of thinking, the first thing that came to mind was an old, simple trick that I learned in school.  All I needed was a compass, some tracing paper, and a soft lead pencil. 

Progress was slow as I had to work out step by step what I needed to do to best achieve the desired results.  The image I wanted to produce had a concentric circular frame, so, my first move was to draw out this frame, using the compass, starting on the tracing paper, and then duplicating the drawing on the paper on which I would render the image.  After marking out the desired positions of the smaller circular portions of the frame and other elements of the drawing, I duplicated them on the paper used for the actual image (minus the marker/guide lines).  I did this by tracing over the elements I wanted to tranfer with a soft lead pencil on the reverse side of the tracing paper.  Then, I placed the tracing paper with the original circular frame on top of the duplicate that would become the final drawing, matching up the frame on the tracing paper with the frame on the final drawing paper.  Doing this, I made sure that the soft lead (that I used to trace the transfer elements) was between the tracing paper and the final drawing paper.  Then, I took something small and rounded (the back end of one of my mechanical pencils) and rubbed over the parts of the image I wanted to transfer.  The graphite transferred from the rubbing provided me with the images I wanted added to the circular frame without the unwanted marker and guidelines.  With the frame image complete on the what would become the final drawing, all that remained was just to draw out the details of the image. 

All things considered, the image itself really had no purpose and communicated no message (at least not anything that was in my head).  I was just taken by the fact that an image with as much detail would first enter my head, and then, stay there and stay intact for what was something of an unprecedented amount of time.  Having that happen, I really just wanted to see what the process from concept to image would yield.     

     
 

  

 

        

 

The Power Of A Woman's Beauty

There are those for whom looking into the face of a beautiful woman is a profound experience.  What exactly is meant by "profound" is, of course, dependent on the individual.  You know, "eye of the beholder" and all.  For some it's kind of a "love-at-first-sight" syndrome.  It can get pretty weird too.  I know this doesn't happen with everyone, but, there are those for whom it's kind of a matter of ideals.  And the biggest problem with it is that the "ideal" is something that exists pretty much exclusively in the mind of the beholder.  Much the same way guys have their own standard of what is or isn't beautiful, there are some guys that have attached a personality or a character to that beauty.  It's at this point that the problems start. 

Some social dysfunctionals have a hard time separating the "ideal" from the reality when it comes to encounters with women.  They see a beautiful woman and are enchanted by what they see.  But, the thing is, it's not just about what they see.  The characteristics that they've attached to the beauty they see they project on to the person.  They, rather quickly, come to expect to see those characteristics associated with the woman's beauty in the woman herself.  When they look at her, they don't see her, they see the person they've projected on to her.  If and/or when they don't see the person they've projected on to her in her behavior, there are generally two things that happen.  Their infatuation with the woman, which has its basis in what they've projected on to her, blinds them to who she really is and they interact with her on the basis of their projection, or, he becomes frustrated or incensed by her failure to live up to the characteristics of who he expects her to be.  I realize that these are extreme generalizations.  But this is the way I've seen it in some of the guys I've known to be like this. 

Besides, I used to be one of these guys. 

I don't really consider myself much of an artist.  But, my ability to render the beauty of women has provided me with an opportunity to enjoy it on a bit more of an intimate basis than one who can only behold it.  I'm nobody's painter and my ability to perceive color is flawed, but, what skill I do have with a pencil has afforded me a stimulating experience in exploring that beauty.  While I am no longer afflicted with this psychosis of my younger days, I still find gazing into the face of a beautiful woman very soothing.  And with the right tools, I can enjoy the exploration of every detail of that beauty.  Everything from the tones and shades of her complexion to the highlights of every visible strand of her hair.      

What's Seen In A Face

In the course of drawing a portrait of someone there are always the usual elements to master that are the first points of concern.  Everyone who bothers to discuss them pretty much have the same things to say about them.  There are always variations in what's said based on the quality of the work, the apparent talent of the artist, or perhaps the beauty of the subject.  But, once you get  past all that, once the artist has found a way to effectively communicate what there is to be seen (and what the artist actually does see) in the subject, then comes the effect that what's seen has on the artist and the viewer.  Now, for myself, what I experience when I see is particularly simplistic in nature.  So much so, in fact, that I never have anything to express that is consistent with established standards of expression or appreciation.  (I've always been something of a rebel when it comes to that sort of thing.)  From what I've been told by more qualified individuals than myself, that makes me pretty useless in such areas.  But, when doing a portrait, there is something that exists, somewhat exclusively, between me (the artist) and the subject.  This is an experience that is particularly profound when the subject is a beautiful woman (for obvious reasons). 

When I was younger, it was something of an issue.  But, now that I'm older, it's pretty much degenerated into an interesting novelty.  When I was younger, the beauty of women existed on something of a kind of spectrum.  The place of a woman's individual beauty was dependent on the affect it had on the beholder (in this case, me).  On one end of the spectrum, was "sexual" beauty.  On the far end was "esthetic" beauty.  In between the two extremes were varying quantities and combinations of the two.  Now, in the center of the spectrum, every once in a while, I'd find what I called a "top-center" girl.  Such women were possessed of a profound, almost bewitching beauty that you just can't stop looking at.  For someone with an abnormal psyche like mine, in the face of this kind of beauty, the tendency to project imaginary elements of personality and traits of character is rather profound.  Now, at this point in my life, this tendency provides a great source of inspiration in adding embellishments to portraiture.  The challenge expands beyond just capturing the subject's beauty.  Now, there is the added challenge of creating a visual atmosphere around her that commicates the affect her beauty has on me as an artist; to communicate the personality or character that I perceive in seeing her.  This has made for some very interesting portraiture.         

Remembering Stories From the Islands

When I was a teenager, I had friends that would disappear every summer heading south to Jamaica to visit with family. At the end of the summer, just before school, they would come back with tales of fun and adventure. Who wouldn't be jealous? This went on for several years. I never had the experiences they did, but, I did have the stories they told. Though, over the years, the memories of the stories they told me of their summer trips have melded into each other, I've managed to hold on to what I considered to be the spirit of what they shared with me. Teenage boys that we were, it shouldn't be much of a surprise where our focus was centered. So, such were the memories that stuck with us over the years; that stuck with me over the years. Memories of where they'd been who they'd met and what they'd experienced, memories they'd shared with me.

Every now and again I wax a little nostalgic and I remember the things I shared with friends when I was young. That includes the stories they told about their trips to Jamaica. And, even though I don't remember the details of their stories, I do remember the fun they had telling me and the fun I had hearing them. One day, during one of my "nostalgic" moments, I found some images that reminded me of the stories my friends told me. So, I used those images to help me record in graphite the daydream that my friends' stories inspired. This drawing was an exercise in shade and highlight. From the shade of her skin to the highlights of her dark curly hair, from the shade of the folds and furrows in the leaves to the highlights between the same, topped off with the shades and shadows of the leaves in the background bleeding sunlight between them. All enclosed in a circle of chrome, decorated like a wind chime.