Just Drawing What You See

It would appear that there comes a point in the flow of an artist's work when things are not as coherent as they used to be.  The ideas don't come as easily as they used to.

For pretty much all of the time that I've been drawing, it's been my habit to try and put together composites of sorts that I find aesthetically pleasing in some way or another.  But the last few drawings that I've produced, that have been composites of the sort I've been in the habit of putting together, have fallen kind of short of the mark.  It's been my wish to produce at least one more piece of work that could get the same kind of admiration that some of my work has gotten in the past.  But, it would appear that such is not going to be the case.

Now, I'm not too bent out of shape about this.  In fact, I'm not very shaken up about it at all.  I'm still feeling the urge to draw, but, the kind of certainty that I used to feel about it isn't there.  I'm kind of getting the urge to let go of the more "abstract" ideas about the kind of work I wanted to produce.  Any serious work I put out now, and perhaps later, is going to be more along the lines of simple work.  Little or no embellishment or decoration.  Nothing too fancy, just the basic elements in and of an image, whatever that image may be.  If I'm going to endeavor to produce a drawing that's "busy" enough to impress, my focus will be more about the indigenous details of a given subject, rather than the details I might "make up" around it.  Just concentrating on the beauty that's already there.  No more trying to manifest style and technique from other artists.  (All things considered, I haven't the skill to do that anyway.)  It's just about what I see, not what I can dream up.  (For most of it, at least.)

I guess there comes a time when you've just got to concentrate on what's there. 

The Last Masterpiece

Don't get me wrong.  I don't have any illusions about the quality or skill level of my work.  I've always been aware, on some level or another, of my own skill deficits in the drawing process.  There are tools and media elements that I am completely incapable of using.  It's not any kind of special handicap.  It's just an insurmountable incompetance on my part.  I've come to the realization that, as a result, there is a point beyond which the quality of my work will never pass.  It's simply not going to get any better (at least not by any standard that means anything to me).

But, just the same, there is something I'd like to do before I throw in the proverbial towel.  I would like to crank out just one last "masterpiece".  Now, in light of what I just said, I understand that I don't have the ability to produce anything close to what someone outside my own head might consider a masterpiece.  When I got into drawing, much of what went into my drawing came more from my head than anywhere else (until recently).  Trying to get it out of my head met with withering, dismal failure.  So, I might as well keep it inside my head.  My satisfaction with my work is also something conceived and grown totally inside my head.  I know, that's pretty much the case with everyone.  But, as I've observed, many artists (I don't know how many, but I know there are enough of them to matter) derive their satisfaction with their work on how much it pleases the public, or whatever they have as a fan base or audience.  Mine takes no consideration for thoughts outside my own head.  My failure to relate through my artwork facilitated a totally inner-directed evaluation standard.  And, just for the sake of saying that I tried, I've attempted to reconcile that standard with the tastes of the public.  I had no serious expectations.  Experience took care of that.  I just did it so I could say I did.  I never admitted that to anyone before now.

Nevertheless, as I expect is typical among artists, I still felt the drive to draw.  I still felt motivated to create images.  I still feel that way now.  So, I continue to draw.  Sometimes more often, sometimes less.  But, I keep on drawing.  And, now, it seems, I've reached the point where I'm feeling it's time to call (most of this) quits.  I've reached a point in my life (age) where I no longer have the drive to pursue even the most minimal levels of success.  So, what I do in terms of art, if I do anything at all, will be totally recreational (unless prudence and conviction dictate otherwise).

The thing is, I kind of want to go out with the proverbial "bang".  I want to do at least one more piece, one more drawing that makes me happy to look at it.  Something that I have a really hard time trying to look away from.

Shared here are what are either my best, favorite, or some combination there of.  If life and circumstances allow, I want to produce something that speaks to the scope of my imagination over the years.  Something that speaks to what I thought was really cool from the time that I first started drawing to now.

I'm not so sure I'm going to be able to pull this off.  But, for the sake of my own amusement (or, perhaps for the sake of satisfaction with my own efforts), I would like to try and put out something I can consider a worthy period at the end of the sentence.

I don't expect that I'll succeed right away.  Trying to accomplish this may actually take multiple tries.  But, I'd like to give it a shot anyway.

The Beauty of Manga

The beauty of manga illustration lies in its simplicity.  And it's a simplicity that exists on more than one level.  When I was very young, I used to make fun of the customary appearance of large eyes on the characters seen on anime TV shows.  But, when I got older and became more heavily involved in art, I began to appreciate the beauty of this stylized form.  As far as comic style artwork was concerned, I'd become accustomed to seeing the western style illustration.  But, I remember not getting as much out of it as my peers.  Don't get me wrong.  I did appreciate the work for its own greatness.  The stylized handling of detail was impressive, to say the least.  And, I enjoyed drawing the characters.  But, my interest in doing that kind of artwork never interested me beyond the social value it had for me.  I only did it because it was the means by which I shared the interest of my friends who were avid fans. 

Manga, however, was a different experience.  I didn't actually see any real samples of manga until much later on in life.  So, most of my appreciation for manga came through anime.  What most impresses me about the manga style is its simplicity.  Though different artists and production companies have something of a signature in their work, there is a standard to the stylization that is visible in pretty much every form of manga/anime illustration.  Again, it wasn't until much later on in my experience with this form of illustration, but, I finally found out the reason for the large eyes that I used to make fun of as a kid.  Elements of the kind of person a manga character was could be determined by the appearance of the eyes.  Their capacity for or tendency toward compassion or evil is revealed (or suggested) in the size and shape of the character's eyes respectively.  Large, bright, colorful eyes are indicative of compassion or innocence.  Small slanted eyes are indicative of evil, malice, lack of trustworthiness, and so on.  It only made me more enamored with the style.  Apart from its simplicity, there was a kind of suggestion with respect to detail that seemed to appear in the work.  Details like strands of hair and folds in clothing were "suggested" by strategic shading.  This technique for implying detail always impressed me.  This particular form of stylization now holds an attraction that has inspired me to try and emulated it.  But, because the form is so particular and developed in its stylization, teaching myself this style has turned out to be a particularly daunting endeavor. 

From what I've seen, environments and backgrounds in this style of illustration generally involve heavy use of perspective and detail.  I made myself very accustomed to the use of perspective in drawing at a young age, so, there isn't much of a problem to be found for me there.  All I expect to need in that area is perhaps a little habitual tweeking in the area of environmental detail.  When I finally get around to exploring it, I anticipate no problems.  Character figures have proven to be pretty much the opposite.  Despite the demanding nature of the style, I still find myself inspired by its beauty.  And I'm driven by that inspiration to continue my efforts in emulating it.