Dreams In Pencil

Early on in high school, in a personal effort to explore the hobby of reading, I got myself hooked on fantasy and sci-fi novels.  No real surprise there as I've always been attracted to the strange and unusual.  In fact, the weirder and more surreal, the better.  It was also about this time in my life that I began making the advance in my drawing from line to shade.  I was in the process of developing a style and technique that would enable me to communicate substance and depth apart from the simple and sometimes exclusive use of perspective.  The books I was reading had a strong influence on my imagination and creativity.  And, for guidance, I began to look to the artwork of the then popular fantasy and sci-fi artists of the time.  Their vision had something of a profound effect on me.  As I continued my drawing, I began to look for ways to create surreal images with as realistic an appearance as possible.  I saw that the best way to accomplish this was, on one hand, to disregard many of the "rules" of nature with regard to space (three-dimensional, geometric space as opposed to the celestial variety), while, on the other hand, to try and emulate the actual physical behavior of light with regard to highlights and reflections on objects and surfaces.  My more successful efforts produced some rather pleasant results.

Throughout this period in my life, though I was quite the geek, I was possessed of a rather amorous disposition.  And, though nothing really came of it with respect to relationships, it manifested itself rather profoundly in my artwork.  This made for some interesting images (some of which were deemed worthy of catalog publication).  I found great satisfaction in producing romantic and semi-romantic, surreal images, a few of which were good enough to attract the attention of buyers.  At any rate, in the course of producing these images, I developed some "favorites".  Over time, as my skill increased and improved, I redid some of my favorites with improvements that corresponded to the development of my skill.  Some of them I redid more than once.  One of them I redid three times.  I think it qualifies as an all-time personal favorite.

The latest reproduction of this all-time favorite of mine was done only a few years ago.  The decision to reproduce it came after my discovery of the work of Alphonse Mucha.  I was amazed to find that the style and the composition seen in his work was just what I had been striving for in my own work ever since I started in the direction of the surreal.  Following the influence of his work gave me the inspiration and the idea for just the kind of embellishment I'd hoped for for this image.  From very early on I had been under the impression that there was something of an unspoken and unwritten rule that the elements that I saw in Mucha's work were simply not to be included or combined in any kind of fine art rendition.  Seeing the success and fame of his work with the form of composition that he used gave me a sense of great vindication as I had always wanted to proceed in a similar fashion with my own work.  Not only did he do it, but, his success with what he used far exceeded any dream of mine.

It has literally been decades since I first put this image together.  My "disposition" isn't nearly as "amorous" as it used to be, but, the image is still a great favorite of mine.  So much so, in fact, that it is very possible that I will reproduce it yet again.  I put this image together with thoughts of what I perceived as the beauty of women in more than just the eye of the beholder.  It was my meager attempt to capture as many of the best qualities of a woman as I could manage in a single image.  The attempt falls woefully short of what it should be, but, given what I had to work with and the immature frame of mind I was in, I managed to come up with an image that made what many thought to be an impressive drawing.  The image worked really well for me personally and, as I mentioned, I became attached.  Now, however, it's not so much about how I feel about women, but about how the image affects me personally.  The "surreality" of the image appeals to me deeply.  Looking at it takes me somewhere else.  Somewhere calm and serene.  A place in the presence and company of what I didn't have the sense to look for when I was young.  Something that now resides only in my dreams.      

Deceit Bathing In Ignorance

Years ago I was inspired to do a drawing that would remind me of the severity of a mistake I made and the importance of not repeating it. I wanted it to have as much impact as I could give it. I wanted to make it as realistic as I could. So, within the scope of my abilities, I knew that the highest level of realism I could achieve could only be reached by making it a composite drawing. The inspiration hit me while I was wallowing in despair from the consequences of my bad judgment. I found myself in possession of images that spoke to the reasons for my despair in a way perfectly suited to my sense of expression. The lighting in each of the images fit them together quite well. Though the composite image itself was quite surreal, the appearance of the drawing was as realistic as I could make it. Once it was complete, I could see in my mind's eye the surrounding environment. So, I set it behind the composite image and drew a circular frame around both.

As the drawing in its entirety is merely an expression of thought and feeling, I didn't try to keep the drawing consistent with spatial reality. In fact, from the very beginning, it was my intention to disregard the laws of physics and spatial realism. The things I wanted to represent in this picture are generally considered to be abstract concepts. So, I thought that the way I chose to depict things was appropriate. Especially since my deepest motivation for drawing this picture was quite self-centered. I take for myself the title of "artist" only because others apply it to me. I never really considered myself much of an artist. One of the reasons being that, in my work, I never really attempted to portray or relay any kind of message or tell any kind of story. Until now. But, this message was for me and me alone. And I had no intention of sharing what that message was in any great detail with anyone outside of a certain personal circle. At my first opportunity I had this drawing matted and framed. It's the only drawing currently in my possession that is. For me, this drawing serves as a personal reminder of a place I never want to go again.