Just Drawing What You See

It would appear that there comes a point in the flow of an artist's work when things are not as coherent as they used to be.  The ideas don't come as easily as they used to.

For pretty much all of the time that I've been drawing, it's been my habit to try and put together composites of sorts that I find aesthetically pleasing in some way or another.  But the last few drawings that I've produced, that have been composites of the sort I've been in the habit of putting together, have fallen kind of short of the mark.  It's been my wish to produce at least one more piece of work that could get the same kind of admiration that some of my work has gotten in the past.  But, it would appear that such is not going to be the case.

Now, I'm not too bent out of shape about this.  In fact, I'm not very shaken up about it at all.  I'm still feeling the urge to draw, but, the kind of certainty that I used to feel about it isn't there.  I'm kind of getting the urge to let go of the more "abstract" ideas about the kind of work I wanted to produce.  Any serious work I put out now, and perhaps later, is going to be more along the lines of simple work.  Little or no embellishment or decoration.  Nothing too fancy, just the basic elements in and of an image, whatever that image may be.  If I'm going to endeavor to produce a drawing that's "busy" enough to impress, my focus will be more about the indigenous details of a given subject, rather than the details I might "make up" around it.  Just concentrating on the beauty that's already there.  No more trying to manifest style and technique from other artists.  (All things considered, I haven't the skill to do that anyway.)  It's just about what I see, not what I can dream up.  (For most of it, at least.)

I guess there comes a time when you've just got to concentrate on what's there. 

Beauty Perceived and Inspired

A woman's beauty has different effects on different people.  This is especially evident where artists are concerned.  With some, a woman's beauty is perceived on the basis of who she is.  This, of course, assumes that one is acquainted with said woman on some level.  Now, if one is not acquainted with her, and is left with only what is observed about her, then, one's perception of her becomes confined to the inside of one's head.  There is no real contribution from the woman herself in terms of interaction.  There is only her appearance to the beholder.  Beyond this there is only the reaction of the beholder to what is perceived.  People being people, this is something that will be different from one beholder to another.  There are those for whom such things are superficial at best.  There is only the physical appearance, and from such an artist, that's what will likely be shown in any rendition the the woman's image.  Then there are those whose perception of the woman's beauty is affected by who they know the woman to be.  Their acquaintance with her has a direct affect on how she is perceived.  This too is likely to manifest itself, in some way, in the artist's rendition of her.  

When said woman is not known and there is no acquaintance with her to speak of, the effect her beauty has on the beholder can be, in many cases, much more profound.  Being acquainted with said woman can sometimes be a hindrance to any level of inspiration.  Reality can be something of a damper.  This, of course, depends on the individual.  There are those for whom inspiration comes into play regardless of pre-existing acquaintance.  Some may say that this will be the case for any artist in any situation.  From what I have seen and heard, inspiration is something manifested with respect to skill more so than anything else.  The artist's ability to "capture" the woman's image is enhanced according to the level of "inspiration" experienced.  

For myself, however, I've always been possessed of the disposition of profound effect in the face of encountering a woman's beauty.  I'm the guy that gets stopped in his tracks.  I know that can be said for most if not all men, but, there aren't that many men that slip into semi-consciousness and tunnel vision when confronted with an impressive beauty.  They may leer and stare, but the effect is not that profound.  Seeking a way to communicate something of the effect that a woman's beauty can have on me, I came up with the idea of embellishing my portraits.  In the development of these embellishments, I try to use elements and images that speak to what's going on in my own head with respect to the effect that said woman's beauty has had on me.  In other words, the typical mechanics of inspiration.  But, it's not just about skill (whatever there is that I have of it) or its enhancement.  With respect to the embellishments, it's about composition and (for lack of a better or more correct term) graphic communication.  In a portrait, I want to frame her image in a collection of images that I think best communicates what I perceive in her beauty.  A collection of images that communicates the effect her beauty has had on me.  It's kind of like a guess at what her personality would be like if the beauty I perceived when I looked at her actually, in some way, indicated who she was as a person.                      

I've done drawings in the past that involve what could be considered elaborate embellishments.  But, those drawings were about an attempt to use a woman to communicate what might be considered an abstract concept.  A concept that generally is not about the woman or her image, but is about a state of mind or a way of life which the image of the woman is actually being used to represent either centrally or in part.  The embellished portraits that I'm endeavoring to develop now are simply about the woman's beauty.  No concepts or representations, abstract of otherwise.  Just the woman's beauty and the power it possesses.  (Such as it is.)  

With respect to this kind of portraiture and the embellishments I've been adding to them, some measure of commercial use did cross my mind.  I'm of the opinion that such embellishments could make a nice addition to gift or personal portraiture.  I haven't gotten a lot of requests for this sort of thing, but, then there haven't been  enough requests, generally speaking, to draw any conclusions about how well these embellishments are going over.  (Besides, this sort of thing seems a bit gender specific.  It seems only fitting for female portraits.  But that's just me.)  So, for now, it's pretty much just about me and the joy I get out of rendering the exquisite beauty of women.          

The Power Of A Woman's Beauty

There are those for whom looking into the face of a beautiful woman is a profound experience.  What exactly is meant by "profound" is, of course, dependent on the individual.  You know, "eye of the beholder" and all.  For some it's kind of a "love-at-first-sight" syndrome.  It can get pretty weird too.  I know this doesn't happen with everyone, but, there are those for whom it's kind of a matter of ideals.  And the biggest problem with it is that the "ideal" is something that exists pretty much exclusively in the mind of the beholder.  Much the same way guys have their own standard of what is or isn't beautiful, there are some guys that have attached a personality or a character to that beauty.  It's at this point that the problems start. 

Some social dysfunctionals have a hard time separating the "ideal" from the reality when it comes to encounters with women.  They see a beautiful woman and are enchanted by what they see.  But, the thing is, it's not just about what they see.  The characteristics that they've attached to the beauty they see they project on to the person.  They, rather quickly, come to expect to see those characteristics associated with the woman's beauty in the woman herself.  When they look at her, they don't see her, they see the person they've projected on to her.  If and/or when they don't see the person they've projected on to her in her behavior, there are generally two things that happen.  Their infatuation with the woman, which has its basis in what they've projected on to her, blinds them to who she really is and they interact with her on the basis of their projection, or, he becomes frustrated or incensed by her failure to live up to the characteristics of who he expects her to be.  I realize that these are extreme generalizations.  But this is the way I've seen it in some of the guys I've known to be like this. 

Besides, I used to be one of these guys. 

I don't really consider myself much of an artist.  But, my ability to render the beauty of women has provided me with an opportunity to enjoy it on a bit more of an intimate basis than one who can only behold it.  I'm nobody's painter and my ability to perceive color is flawed, but, what skill I do have with a pencil has afforded me a stimulating experience in exploring that beauty.  While I am no longer afflicted with this psychosis of my younger days, I still find gazing into the face of a beautiful woman very soothing.  And with the right tools, I can enjoy the exploration of every detail of that beauty.  Everything from the tones and shades of her complexion to the highlights of every visible strand of her hair.      

What's Seen In A Face

In the course of drawing a portrait of someone there are always the usual elements to master that are the first points of concern.  Everyone who bothers to discuss them pretty much have the same things to say about them.  There are always variations in what's said based on the quality of the work, the apparent talent of the artist, or perhaps the beauty of the subject.  But, once you get  past all that, once the artist has found a way to effectively communicate what there is to be seen (and what the artist actually does see) in the subject, then comes the effect that what's seen has on the artist and the viewer.  Now, for myself, what I experience when I see is particularly simplistic in nature.  So much so, in fact, that I never have anything to express that is consistent with established standards of expression or appreciation.  (I've always been something of a rebel when it comes to that sort of thing.)  From what I've been told by more qualified individuals than myself, that makes me pretty useless in such areas.  But, when doing a portrait, there is something that exists, somewhat exclusively, between me (the artist) and the subject.  This is an experience that is particularly profound when the subject is a beautiful woman (for obvious reasons). 

When I was younger, it was something of an issue.  But, now that I'm older, it's pretty much degenerated into an interesting novelty.  When I was younger, the beauty of women existed on something of a kind of spectrum.  The place of a woman's individual beauty was dependent on the affect it had on the beholder (in this case, me).  On one end of the spectrum, was "sexual" beauty.  On the far end was "esthetic" beauty.  In between the two extremes were varying quantities and combinations of the two.  Now, in the center of the spectrum, every once in a while, I'd find what I called a "top-center" girl.  Such women were possessed of a profound, almost bewitching beauty that you just can't stop looking at.  For someone with an abnormal psyche like mine, in the face of this kind of beauty, the tendency to project imaginary elements of personality and traits of character is rather profound.  Now, at this point in my life, this tendency provides a great source of inspiration in adding embellishments to portraiture.  The challenge expands beyond just capturing the subject's beauty.  Now, there is the added challenge of creating a visual atmosphere around her that commicates the affect her beauty has on me as an artist; to communicate the personality or character that I perceive in seeing her.  This has made for some very interesting portraiture.